To Sir with Love

#1

Cecilie and Shelley

mystery of mysteries

born from the ocean of boundless generosity

a warm light shining through from the other side

victorious, namgyal  

piercing the mind

deepening, widening, stretching

us into wisdom

his vivid clarity

opening doors invisible to the concealed eye

a knowing engulfs me

teaches me, revealing the healing life force 

and unleashing a vow

of loving kindness

his compassion rides on waves

radiant essence

free

engaged

unlocking what is

and has always been

primordial presence

building confidence 

and wonder

your torch is alive, it is burning, burning, burning

until the fire is without flame

#2

I met Namgyal Rinpoche in 1987, during a time of crisis, and hoped that he could help me heal. In fact, I asked him straight out. I asked him to trust me and to accept me as his student. He said, “Come back in twenty-five years and ask again. In the meantime, just do the work.” I said I would. Thing is, every time I went to do a retreat or came to see him (to do the work), I was physically challenged it seems by just about everything. I don’t know if you ever experienced anything like this, but one time on route to the DCC my car died. On another occasion the transmission broke. Once on Highway 121 the muffler of my car fell off. Another time, I was caught in a snow blizzard and had to drive with the door open along Country Road 2 so I wouldn’t drive into a ditch. 

But, what also happened in those challenging times is that Tara and Vajrasattva visited. They were there on my shoulders, in my rear view, and in my heart — and with focus, interest, and confidence Namgyal and his presence in my mind-stream taught me how to transform arrows into roses. He taught me to dive into struggle with skill and means, and soldier on. He showed me how to develop awareness. 

Then one day I realized we are the dharma, there is no separation — there are only sustained or unsustained moments of recognition. What a precious gift. It has been more than twenty-five years and he did accept me completely as his student — and for this I will always have unending love, gratitude, and devotion.

#3

It was 1989, during the third year of the academy at the Dharma Centre, and I was honoured one day with a request to prepare a special breakfast for my beloved teacher, Namgyal Rinpoche, as his birthday was nearing. I took pride in preparing everything perfectly. Spices just so. Konji cooked as requested. Ready for delivery. With that done, I went for a walk to prepare my mind before class, and on the way Pride decided to come along on the walk with me. As always, class was luminous; I was bright, clear, and in a loving state thinking that this was the perfect moment, the perfect place. I was in love with love, and ready to awaken (ha!). At the end of that class, Namgyal Rinpoche invited some people to dinner at his home. I had witnessed this invitation many times before. But he didn’t invite me!

As I walked back to the main house, Desire and Clinging decided to came along for the walk. And then, Jealousy joined us. By then, I had a whole group of friends on that walk! As I got nearer to the main house, Anger joined, walking by my side, and though I tried to shoo them all away they remained. I kept repeating the question ‘why doesn’t he ever invite me?' 

At that very moment, Terry and Rinpoche pulled up in the Toyota, opened the window of the car and waved me over. Rinpoche said, “Shelley, if you want to come for dinner you will have to learn to ask. If you want something you need to speak up.” I stood there in silence, amazed. I took a deep breath and asked, “Sir, may I come for dinner?” “Yes," he said, "come tonight and choose two friends to bring with you.” 

Now I walked away with Generosity by my side. I chose two new students who had never been to the DCC before and who I knew were eager to meet Namgyal Rinpoche. Generosity and the karmic seeding of that choice have since sprouted in numerous and uncountable ways, as the future has revealed. My beloved teacher was unravelling threads of a weaving already sewn. I celebrate your birthday today and always.

by Shelley Cohl